


One Color Is Not Enough

by Dream_addicted



Series: Hollywood Undead One Shots [6]
Category: Hollywood Undead (Band)
Genre: Acephobia, Aromantic, Asexual Character, Asexuality, Family Issues, Trans Character, Trans Female Character, Transgender, triggering content
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-09
Updated: 2017-06-13
Packaged: 2018-11-12 01:38:15
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,325
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11151456
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dream_addicted/pseuds/Dream_addicted
Summary: He found her sitting on the couch, sipping some iced tea together with a stranger girl, one that Jay had never seen in his entire life.His mother turned around and gave him her brightest smile, eyes shining with happiness as she moved a hand and pointed her guest.“Jorel, this is Katie. She works with me at the store and she's absolutely lovely!” the woman exclaimed, making Jay lift an eyebrow in confusion.“Hi, Katie” he simply said, looking first at his mother, then at the stranger and then again back at the mother.It was best for everyone if this was not what he was thinking it was.





	1. One Color Is Not Enough

Jay growled in his room, jaw clenched as he looked down at his cut arm, thick red lines dripping down in tiny droplets on the white fabric of his pillow. He cursed with a whisper and tried to wipe away the red stain without managing to, his callous fingers worsening even more the situation.

The boy decided it was not worth losing more time on that shit (he couldn't clean the cushion anyway) so he returned focusing on his pale skin, all painted in red due to the blood.

His cuts were neat and wide, the right punishment for some monster like him. Really, he deserved something more than this, something worse, but apart from drinking bleach, he couldn't think of anything else.

He had to punish himself, punish his body for being so damn wrong, so fucking wrong.

Jay bent his wrist a bit and the drops followed the motion, ready to fall over on the pillow, but still attached at the edge of his skin, as if they didn't want to leave it but flow back into his veins.

“Jorel!” a muffled voice called him, the boy almost losing his grip on the metallic piece and dropping it on the bed. He hissed through his teeth with anger and laid sideways, stretching up to reach his nightstand and open the drawer. He shoved the razor inside and with trembling hands he grasped at some already used bandages, the creamy cloth already dark brown in those areas he had used in the past.

Quickly enough, he wrapped the thing around his arms and tried to fix it with some tape, gluing the fabric directly to the skin, knowing that when he was going to pull it off it would have hurt pretty bad.

He didn't really give a fuck, honestly.

“JOREL!” called again the feminine voice, the one that the boy recognized as his mother.

Jay jumped down the bed and put on some hoodie, regretting immediately his quick decision as soon as he stepped outside his room. It was summer and it was California, putting on something as heavy as that was a suicide, without counting the fact that it was pretty suspicious and could make someone think he was hiding something, perhaps on his arms.

“Comin'” Jay said hurrying down the stairs, stomping against the last step as he turned around and headed towards the living room, the source of his mother's voice.

He didn't like the fact that he had to stay in that room together with the woman he hated most in the world, but he had to. After all, if he didn't obey, his mother would have just started freaking out and shrill like possessed, two things that literally pissed off the boy more than anything.

He found her sitting on the couch, sipping some iced tea together with a stranger girl, one that Jay had never seen in his entire life.

His mother turned around and gave him her brightest smile, eyes shining in happiness as she moved a hand and pointed at her guest.

“Jorel, this is Katie. She works with me at the store and she's absolutely lovely!” the woman exclaimed, making Jay lift an eyebrow in confusion.

“Hi, Katie” he simply said, looking first at his mother, then at the stranger and then again back at the mother.

It was best for everyone if this was not what he was thinking it was.

Katie was a pretty girl, with long slender legs, blue eyes, honey-like hair and tiny hands: probably one of the most beautiful girls Jorel had ever seen in his life, not that he was good at judging stuff like this. It was clear just from her expression that she was sweet and caring, a warm smile illuminating her face and probably making every man turn his head around to look at her.

Surely Jay was not one of those men.  
“It's a pleasure to meet you, Jorel. You've got some nice and colorful tattoos there” she chirped, offering him a lovely giggle and a wink. Jorel instinctively made a step back and hummed an affirmative response, whispering some “thank you” barely audible to the women's ears.

It couldn't be what he was thinking.

“Oh, Katie darling, you have no idea how mad I was when my son got those things on his skin. I was so contrary about it” his mother complained, an extremely and dramatic sigh leaving her lips. Jay clenched his fists and jaw, glaring at her with furrowed eyebrows.

“It doesn't matter, he looks good with them” Katie answered with a tiny and extremely feminine laugh, her eyes returning on Jorel and scanning him from head to toes, as if he was some precious and delicious food to eat.

“Oh, you're so sweet, Katie. See, Jorel? She's so lovely” his mother stated with a cheesy voice, Jay humming again.  
“Yeah, lovely” he muttered, standing still on the edge of the room, deciding not to enter it.

His mother put the mug on the small tea table in front of her and clapped her hands happily, making cheerful sounds and eyeing with love the blonde girl.

“Yes! I knew you would have liked each other! Can't wait for your first date!” she exclaimed, Katie reciprocating her smile with one even brighter and happier, nodding at her words and repeating them all happy and squeaky.

Jay widened his eyes in shock, mouth open and hands clenching and unclenching over and over.

“ _Mamma..._ ” he gritted his teeth, ruining the sweet atmosphere between the two women.

“I'm not going to go to any date with any girl” he hissed, hate now seeping through his words and making extremely clear his thoughts and mood.

His mother stopped laughing and just frowned as if she hadn't understood what Jay had just said.

“What? Why? She looks so lovely! Look at her!” she exclaimed, Katie blushing and putting a hand over her lips, even too embarrassed by the compliments.

Jorel growled and shoved his hands in the hoodie, hate, and anger filling his heart and making him think bad things again.

“ _Mamma_ , I've already told you I'm fucking asexual and aromantic” he spat out, his eyes glaring with hate at both women sitting on the couch.

His mother made a disappointed sound and just waved her hand in the air, rolling her eyes annoyed.  
“Again with that story, Jorel? You know very well that people like that do not exist!” she stated while looking at Katie, the girl nodding at her probably just to please the woman, her eyes looking back at Jay with something in between confusion and surprise.

“You don't like girls? Are you gay?” she asked with a startled tone, surely not expecting Jay to reject her.

The boy made a distressed sound and just clenched his jaw, now really pissed off.

“I'm not gay, I am asexual, which means I don't want to have sex with girls or with boys or whatever there's in between. I'm also aromantic, which means that the date you're dreaming about is not gonna happen cause I don't want a relationship” he explained, trying to remain calm. It wasn't the girl's fault if she was ignorant.

His mother just puffed and shook her head, putting a hand over Katie's one and caressing slowly her wrist.

“I'm so sorry, darling. My son is clearly confused. He's heard this stuff from a friend and now he thinks these things exist. I mean: he's a boy, he will just accept that he likes girls one day. Maybe you can help him with it” she smiled, Katie now really confused, looking with empty eyes at the fingers caressing her and then staring at Jay with wide interrogative irises.

The boy, instead, was literally going to explode. He had enough with this shit. It was the third time that his mother was trying to pair him up with some random chick and he was absolutely fed up with her fucking ignorance.

“I'm not fucking confused, _mamma_. I know what I want and I know what I don't. I fucking hate sex, okay? I won't date this fucking skank just because you want a heterosexual child that sticks his dick in some puss-”

“JOREL DECKER, YOU ARE NOT GOING TO USE SUCH LANGUAGE IN MY HOUSE!” his mother suddenly screeched out, scaring the shit out of the girl as well, who retreated her arm from the woman's grip and moved a little away from her.

Jay grinned in triumph. This was his mother, this bigot bitch who couldn't understand a fucking thing, ready to yell at his son.

“JOREL, YOU ARE GOING TO DATE THIS GIRL AND YOU WILL BE SURE TO MAKE HER HAPPY BY BEING A GOOD BOYFRIEND!” she screamed at the top of her lungs, even standing up and facing her son directly, Katie now reduced to silence and absolutely motionless on the sofa.

_Not the date you were expecting, huh?_

“No, I won't! I don't want a relationship and you can't force me to have one!” He answered back, making one step ahead and puffing his chest up, clearly pissed off and out of his mind.

His mother, however, was not a woman to be scared easily, so she didn't back up or lowered her voice.

“It's my duty as a mother to teach you well and put these crazy ideas out of your head. Jorel, _piccolo mio,_ can't you see that if you keep going like this you won't get married and you won't have a family all yours? You really want to die alone?” she said, now using a desperate and worried tone of voice, briefly glimpsing at the girl on the sofa, as if she wanted some support.

 _Piccolo mio._ My dear child. As if he was her dear child, that fucking bitch.

Jay growled and made a furious sound, wishing deep inside that he could grab his mother's head and smash it down on the tea table in front of him.

“Just because I don't want a wife it doesn't mean I'm going to die alone, _mamma_. I will have friends and they will be my family. Imma have my art. My music. My job. Imma not be alone!”

“Music is not a job, Jorel, and friends are not a family. What about children? Don't you want to have children? Give me some beautiful and sweet _nipotini_?” his mother asked, tears rolling down her face.

“My sister is gonna give you those grandchildren you crave so much for. I've got my life and you gotta accept who I am” Jay spat out, his fists balled up in his hoodie where he wouldn't have used them.

Now her mother started crying really loudly, Katie looking absolutely shocked, embarrassed, and out of place.  
“Oh, Jorel, why are you giving me such pain? I just want you to be happy. I'm doing this for you and you treat me like this? You're so ungrateful, you are just being bad and evil!” his mother shrieked in sorrow, putting a hand right over her heart.

Jay had enough, it was time to give this whore a lesson.

“Hurting you? HURTING YOU? YOU FUCKING BITCH HURT ME ENOUGH TO MAKE ME WANT TO DIE!” he shouted with anger, grabbing the mug from the tea table and launching the cup on the wall, ceramic smashing in a hundred pieces and tea staining the wall.

Now his mother was really out of control: she started crying aloud and beg the Lord to forgive his child, shrills coming out from her chest as if she was being stabbed to death. Jay growled and kicked the tea table over, the wooden furniture flipping on the ground and scaring Katie, the other woman still screaming.

“You're the disgrace of this family, Jorel! I wasn't a bad mother! I gave you everything you wanted. I forgave you when you got back from New Mexico after you became _all involved_. I told myself that you were good, _il mio piccolo bambino,_ that you had understood the lesson. I even looked away when you got those tattoos, when you started playing that absurd music and when you began spending time with that other weird Jewish guy, but I was wrong! I should have known that this Aron you were talking all the time was not a good influence on you. He put these crazy ideas in your head and convinced you of being like this!” she cried out, Katie now getting up and leaving the room in a hurry, bothering to just say a quick bye and literally running out of their house, probably scared to death.

But Jay couldn't care less. He was furious from the deepest pit of his guts, barely holding himself back from jumping on his own mother.

“Don't fucking bring up Arienne in this. And it's a she, not a he, you fucking dumbass. She's a girl. She's the one who explained me that I was not a mistake and that who I am is good!” he shouted, getting closer to his mother and glaring at her with all the hate he could muster up.

His mother looked up in the sky and made a disgusted face.  
“It's a he, Jorel! He's a boy. He has got the boy's parts down there, how can't you understand this? I shouldn't have let you hang out with a sinful and horrid tranny like that. It's my fault! I should have protected you”  
“SHUT THE FUCK UP, _PUTTANA_. DON'T YOU DARE TO CALL HER LIKE THAT!” Jay roared, hands trembling and ready to slap her on that fucking idiotic face.

“Jorel, please, listen to me! You don't want this! You don't want to be alone, you like girls. You don't want to see that tranny, he's disgusting. He's wrong in God's eyes! I am your mother, I know what it's best for you! And that horrible tran-”

That's when it happened. Jay couldn't hold back anymore and his hand flung out of his pocket faster than expected. His palm hit his mother right over her face, so violently that the boy himself stood there startled, surprised by his own strength.

His mother made a squeaky and pitiful sound, dropping down on her knees and starting sobbing loudly, asking God for forgiveness and mercy, all weeping and whispering.

Jay's guts revolted in repulsion and he just spat down on the carpet, right next to his mother.

“You fucking ignorant, bigot bitch” he hissed, turning around and stomping away, out of himself.

That bitch, why couldn't she understand him? He confessed her to be aromantic and asexual and that bigot just answered him it wasn't possible. How could she even dare to say that? He trusted her with that and she literally backstabbed him.

He was not regretting the things he said. He wasn't.

Jay turned around and started walking up the stairs, leaving his mother alone in the living room to play the part of the victim. He really didn't want to hear her or her fucking babbling about being right and just in front of god's eyes.

He needed Arienne. She would have understood him, she would have comforted him and reassured that what he was...was right, that he had nothing to fear.

He needed to call her.

He needed to hear a voice who loved him, who truly knew who he was.

Jay slammed the door of his room right behind him, reaching the mobile phone abandoned on the bed and dialing Arienne's number as fast as he could.

He was so fucked up, damn. 


	2. Two Colors Are Not Enough

Arienne was head down in her wardrobe, searching under a pile of T-shirts that thing she had been treasuring in her secret box, away from her sister and mother’s eyes. After some minutes of research and whispered curses, she finally found the small rectangular shape right in the corner of the wardrobe, well hidden and almost invisible. The girl smiled and stood up, glancing at the door to be sure that it was locked, happily humming to herself as she plopped down on the bed, opening the box with caution.

Jay had given her this gift the night she explained him about asexuality. He was so happy to discover he wasn't sick in his head that he didn’t even think twice when he entered the clothing shop at the end of Sunset Boulevard and literally spent all his savings for the most expensive and fancy dress available.

Arienne loved it. The upper part of the dress was of a pastel blue with floral drawings while the puffy skirt below was of a candy pink, almost like a tutu. She giggled cheerfully as she took the dress out of the box, admiring its silky cloth and softness, feeling it under her fingertips.

She absolutely had to try it.

With a happy sound, the girl got up and started undressing. She threw away the skinny jeans and the band T-shirt she always wore, clothes that were accepted by the rest of the family and didn’t look too masculine. Then, she started walking towards the mirror to her right and looked at the reflection with critical eyes, gazing at her body from head to toes.

She glanced at herself and the smile she had before while looking at the dress faded away in an instant.

There is was so much wrong with what she was seeing. Her hips were not large enough, her shoulders were too broad, and even if her arms were the right size for a girl, she was still too muscular for a woman.

She looked down at the pink panties she had secretly bought and worn all day. They were pretty, with a small ribbon on the front, extremely tight on her body. But then she looked at the bulge they were hiding and she stifled a cry, eyes watering as she saw the horrible thing she had in the middle of her legs.

God, why couldn’t she be normal? Her body was disgusting, all skin and bones because she couldn’t bear the sight of having too much fat in the wrong places. Arienne also tried to shave herself in the attempt of getting rid of that disgusting hair growing on her skin: while she managed to do so with her chest and armpits, she was scared to do the same with legs and arms: her father wouldn’t have tolerated that and would have started asking her is she was gay cause she was shaving herself like a worm.

Gay? Her? Not at all. Arienne was the straightest person on Earth, she even had a secret boyfriend!   
She was literally terrified to tell anybody about him: her mother would just cry and blame herself while her father would just scream in disgust and beat her...well...beat her more than usual, trying to turn her back to normality.

She could remember the day when her dad lost his mind because she told him she didn't want to date one of Arina's friends. He started shouting that he didn't want a faggot son and then he punched Arienne right on the ribs, so violently that it had hurt for days.

The girl shook her head.

Enough with the bad thoughts.

All of this was just temporary. This body...this thing, was just something of now. Jay had promised her he would have helped with the transition, even offering himself to buy some estrogen hormones from the black market to start already with the thing. Arienne was touched by such bravery, but she didn’t want her best friend to get in trouble and she didn’t want to transition without a doctor helping her, it was too scary and after all, she still wanted to have a healthy body.

With a dubious look, the girl took the dress and slowly started putting it on, careful of not ruining it. After some jumps and shaking of hips, it finally fit her and the girl could look at herself in the mirror.

She looked less good than expected. Yeah, maybe her legs were too skinny to be the ones of a girl, and maybe her shoulders were too large for a clothing like this, but the way the skirt covered her hips and the way the upper part exposed her chest was, after all, pretty amazing. With a faint smile, she took two balls of cotton stolen from the bathroom and stuffed them up her chest, trying to reproduce something similar to boobs.

The final result seemed even too disgusting for Arienne, but she thought that with some makeup and the right stockings, she could pass as a girl despite her short hair and squared jaw.

The sudden sound of her cell phone ringing made her jump in fear, look around scared that someone had opened the door. She took a relieved breath when she understood that nothing bad had happened and that she hasn't being discovered, immediately throwing herself on the mattress.

She giggled as she saw the caller, JD's happy face appearing on the screen while she answered.

“Jay! It’s so nice to hear you!” she squeaked happily, adjusting the fold of her skirt as she laid down on the bed.

She heard some low humming on the phone and for some seconds nobody answered her greeting, leaving her wondering if something bad had happened to her best friend.

“My _mamma_ tried to make me date a chick. Again” a low whisper confessed, Arienne frowning in both surprise and anger.

“Did she really? I mean…didn’t she understand you’re not interested in…well…love and sex?” she asked quietly. She didn't like Jay's mother and her obsessive way to turn JD “normal”: every time that the woman did something similar to this, Jay would try to copy with the awful feelings in horrible ways such as cutting or drinking.

Thank god this time he had called her.

“Yeah. Really. We had a fight and now I’m trying not to lose my shit and break everything” Jay hissed.

Arienne bit her lower lip, not sure about what to do. She could have asked Jay to meet her at the Den, but she wanted also some intimacy with her boyfriend. They were supposed to be together before the entire group of friends arrived...but Jay seemed so down, so fucking sad...

Maybe if she hurried enough she would arrive before the time to meet her boyfriend and have some intimate moments with him before Jay's arrival.

“Hey, mh...JD, why don't we meet at the Den in...something like an hour?” she finally said, caressing the soft and fluffy dress covering her body.

Jay hummed an affirmative response and a quick bye, the line going dead even before Arienne could make other questions. She looked at the phone in both worry and disappointment, asking herself if Jay was ok, if he did really something bad or if he managed to hold back.

With a sigh, she got up and decided that it was time to get dressed and head the fuck out. Her boyfriend was probably already there at the Den, so hurrying up was a good idea.

However, she still had a problem: her father sitting on the couch in the living room, ready to unleash his rage if he saw even one slightly feminine trait on Arienne.

She had to be clever.

With a smooth move, the girl took out the cotton from her dress, then she took it off and orderly folded it in a box, putting it in the back of the wardrobe and carefully burying it under a good amount of clothes. She then put on her usual black band t-shirt and wriggled in her tight skinny jeans, smiling when she looked at the mirror and noticed how rounded her ass seemed in that trousers.

She then walked to the side of the bed and took her backpack, the one she used to go to school, all purple with some black ink writings on it, most of them made by Charlie's neat handwriting.

The girl shoved her cell phone in the bag and, with a slight sense of worry, she decided that hiding in there her make-up stuff was a good idea: Arienne would have put it on later, when she was out of the house and could do whatever the fuck she wanted, like putting on some mascara, eyeliner, lipstick and maybe even some eye shadow.

Damn, she was so damn good at makeup.

With a giggle, she packed everything and put the bag on her shoulders, careful of closing her bedroom's door and then walking down the stairs, arriving right in the corridor where her dad was silently smoking a cigarette while watching some TV.   
The last thing Arienne wanted was to talk to him, so she walked as silently as possible, heading towards the door in a fast hurry.

"Aron!" her father called, making the girl cringe and feel as if someone just backstabbed her.

"Yeah, dad?" She answered, visibly upset about the man noticing her.

"Where are you going?" her father inquired, still not turning around and just keeping looking at the screen in front of him.

Arienne gulped and tried to calm herself, the weight of her backpack and the things inside it becoming suddenly heavier.  
"I'm..." she stuttered, not sure if telling her dad where she was going was a good idea.

"I'm going to see Charlie at Del Taco" she said, tremors making her hands shake violently due to the fear.

Her father grunted something in approval and didn't say another word more, letting the girl able to breathe again and hurry the fuck up out of that house. She couldn't describe the relief of closing that door behind herself, immediately starting walking towards the Den, hoping that her boyfriend was already there.

Damn, that was going to be a dramatic afternoon.

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm reading some stuff about gender and pronouns and damn if it is interesting. Didn't know the rainbow had some many shades.  
> Hey, people, if you wanna read good quality stuff here are some titles. I really suggest them cause they're really good and with wonderful plot\sex scenes\gore scenes.
> 
> \- "Dreams are as real as you make them" by HeartlessGreenPumpkin (fandoms: PTV, BMTH, SWS, ATL, OM&M)  
> \- "Touch Me Like I'm Glass" by Idea Turnstile (fandoms: PTV, SWS)   
> \- "Wicked Games" by heyitsbabz, youngvolcahoes (fandoms: TOP, MCR, FOB, GD, P!ATD, others)

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this cause I was pissed off a lot.  
> There's no sex in it and I might write something else with some smut, but for now, I just wanted to prove a point.


End file.
